Shawn Chacon, Super Smoove

Steve Campbell of the Houston Chronicle calls it "going all Sprewell". Shawn Chacon got bumped from the rotation on Sunday due to what Wade calls "merit", which is a pretty fair decision considering Shawn's 5.04 ERA in 85.2 IP. Yesterday, Wade asks Chacon into Cecil Cooper's office while Chacon's eating in the cafeteria, and Chacon asked for Wade to just spit it out.

Chacon says Wade started cursing at him, yelling at him, generally berating him, after which he got more and more frustrated, lost his cool, and choked-a-bitch. No, seriously, he got up, grabbed Wade by the neck, and threw him down. Let's just go with "Wow".

Wade doesn't affirm or deny Chacon's retelling of the details, as is to be expected from somebody in charge of representing the organization.

The thing that isn't being questioned so far in all the coverage I've seen and read is this: if Wade truly did start berating Chacon in the cafeteria, along the lines of this "look in the mirror" quote which keeps floating around, with cusswords in or out of the equation, did he honestly expect an even-keeled response? Shawn Chacon is a professional athlete, being paid millions of dollars to compete, which is essentially defying reality, defying odds, and defying expectations to go out and win. This is not somebody who's been taught to roll over when told to get in line and get in their place.

Basically where I'm going here is, does Wade think this is a football team, that you can force people into doing what you want because that's the culture of the sport? We as the viewing public don't get to see inside the clubhouse, we can only catch these kinds of blowups after they happen and speculate, but a man who berates not only another man but an employee whom he is directly responsible for their hire in a manner which would even approach a point where the employee wants to choke his boss is a serious problem.

Put it this way: the bad news for Chacon was delivered on Sunday, the news that he was going to be dropped from the rotation. If you're Chacon and you're freaking pissed already about that, enough to choke somebody just because of that, (and I know this sounds irreverent) then you're gonna end up choking him on Sunday or Monday, or at the very least pulling a Milton Bradley-esque "walk to the press box to talk".

So let's not throw Chacon to the wolves for going after his GM. He didn't go after his coach, he did exactly what we've come to expect from overpaid professional athletes who've been taught their entire lives that their talent is supreme, supreme enough to get them an 8 month job for seven figures annually. Wade, who is experienced in dealing with baseball players due to this not being his first GM rodeo, honestly must have done something or said something or expressed himself in such a displeasureable way as to cause Chacon to get angry enough for choking him. So only judge Chacon for losing his coo and for bringing the physicall; don't assume Wade is a victim of some kind of crazy attack without any kind of incitement by his own actions.

Adam Dunn's Revenge...Kinda

1-for-3, with a walk. Not exactly the thunderous response I was hoping for from Dunn to J.P. Ricciardi. I know beisbol isn't as passionate a game as football or basketball, and you can't just get over-adrenalined and go out and excel inside the game, and I know Ricciardi isn't going to step to the plate or mound or field over the course of this three-game series, but I think Dunn missed an epic opportunity yesterday to come out and start a national cult of personality...even if it's in Canada. Can you imagine?

"...And here's the once-slighted Dunn, rounding third on his second homer of the day, and he's pointing...what's he pointing at? Oh my, look! An airplane with a trailing message...RICCIARDI...CAN...SU--and we'll break for this sponsor's message."

Here's to hoping today he hits three homers and a triple with a flip over the dugout railing while making a great catch to end an inning.

Kaz Matsui!

Why does Kaz Matsui going down with a hamstring problem make me happy? Let's enumerate the ways:

1. The easiest way to convince the average fan in an average sports debate that a signing was bad is when the player is consistently hurt (see: fissure, anal). Even though logically it's not fair or correct to assume that the front office knew that the player was going to be hurt, it's really convincing.

2. Mark Loretta is a decent ballplayer, and I still can't figure out why Matsui's on our team if we already have Loretta. The only thing Matsui exceeds Loretta in accomplishing is stealing bases; Loretta stole one last year, four the year before, and has never swiped more than nine, whereas Matsui hits the DL with fifteen already. So when we sign another aging second-baseman who slaps singles and plays at least passable defense, why do we hang on to the other one? Oh, and Loretta's making $2.75m this year out of arbitration in February, after we signed Matsui for $16.5m over three years in December. Remember that Wile E. Coyote bit where he's mixing the Trinitrotoluene in the shed and he says "Wile E. Coyote, soooooooper geeeeeeenius"? Ed Wade, soooooooper geeeeeeenius.

3. We have a guy at Corpus Christi named Stephen Sutton, who turns 25 on the 30th of June (.304/.389/.478, 53, 8, 33) with absolutely zero solid-hitting second basemen at Round Rock (RR, see what I did there?), all of them hitting well below Edwin Maysonet, a defensive whiz shortstop. I understand I don't manage the minor league team, so attitudes aside, but really, shouldn't we as Astros fans look towards the future of the team considering without pitching, we ain't goin' nowheres?

4. Kaz has a personal trainer stipulated for his exclusive use provided by the club in his contract. I don't feel bad for the guy; I just hope the trainer is hot.

Welcome Home, Bitches

As is noted above, it's time to come home. Any baseball fan stuck on a coast who is in desperate need of a place to talk about some flyover state baseball, any fan in a flyover state stuck rooting for someone like the freakin' goddamn Cubs because they live on the north side of Chicago and that's all anybody seems to think exists in the baseball world is that goddamn curse and that piss-smelling stadium, or someone just interested in any of the authors of the site (ya know ya are ya dirty bitch), this is your place.

This was going to start as a blog by myself called "The Telescope", about watching the Astros from afar, but apparently fat girls aged 12-14 in 2001-2002 liked the idea of a blog called "The Telescope", and thetelescope.com links to a site about remembering Hurricane Katrina victims. Nixed that right quick.

Okay, some initial housekeeping details before we delve into why Kaz Matsui was the most unnecessary signing by the Astros in their history - I am the Astros guy. I'll also pick up some Royals, Reds, and Twins stuff because I'm a sucker for underachievers (organizations, not players. I root for Northwestern, you're starting to see the picture). I live in Boston, so if you see any East Coast Bias, please fix it in the comments.

As far as the other authors and their allegiances, it will become painfully obvious. And hopefully there will be turf wars.

So that cherry's popped. Let's get down to beisbol.